How Other People's Stories Brought Me Back

After being betrayed, I went back to the job market with very little of myself intact. I took a role in a CEO office, and without planning it, that job became the place where I started to heal.

Setelah dikhianati, saya balik ke pasar kerja dengan sangat sedikit dari diri saya yang utuh. Saya ambil peran di kantor CEO, dan tanpa saya rencanakan, kerjaan itu jadi tempat saya mulai sembuh.

Held together by other people's storiesDirekatkan oleh cerita orang lain

The role put me in front of tens, then hundreds of people. I talked to them. I listened to their life stories. I got to help, in small and large ways, more people than I can count. At first I didn't realize it was doing anything for me. I thought I was just working. But something was being repaired quietly, underneath the tasks.

Peran itu naruh saya di depan puluhan, terus ratusan orang. Saya ngobrol sama mereka. Saya dengerin cerita hidup mereka. Saya bisa bantu, dengan cara kecil dan besar, lebih banyak orang dari yang bisa saya hitung. Awalnya saya nggak sadar itu ngefek apa-apa buat saya. Saya kira saya cuma kerja. Tapi ada yang lagi diperbaiki diam-diam, di bawah tugas-tugasnya.

Feeling loved again by being usefulNgerasa dicintai lagi lewat jadi berguna

Somewhere in all that listening, I started to feel loved again, something I hadn't felt for a long time. Not romantic love. Something steadier. The feeling of mattering to people, of being trusted with their hard moments, of being useful to someone on a day they needed it. It didn't heal me completely. But it thawed the part of me that had gone cold, and that was enough to keep going.

Di suatu tempat dalam semua mendengarkan itu, saya mulai ngerasa dicintai lagi, sesuatu yang udah lama nggak saya rasain. Bukan cinta romantis. Sesuatu yang lebih stabil. Rasa berarti buat orang, dipercaya dengan momen berat mereka, berguna buat seseorang di hari mereka butuh. Itu nggak nyembuhin saya sepenuhnya. Tapi itu ngecairin bagian diri saya yang udah dingin, dan itu cukup buat terus jalan.

“I didn't heal by being taken care of. I healed by being useful to people who needed me. Service gave me back a feeling I thought I'd lost.” “Saya nggak sembuh karena dirawat. Saya sembuh karena berguna buat orang yang butuh saya. Melayani ngasih balik perasaan yang saya kira udah hilang.”

What I took from that healingYang saya ambil dari penyembuhan itu

I know now that I'm someone who comes back to life through being of use. That isn't a weakness to manage; it's a truth to build around. But I've also learned to give from a fuller place, so that helping others is a bonus of my own steadiness, not a substitute for it. Back then, other people's stories held me up. Now I want to be steady enough to hold my own.

Sekarang saya tahu kalau saya orang yang hidup lagi lewat jadi berguna. Itu bukan kelemahan buat dikelola; itu kebenaran buat dijadikan pondasi. Tapi saya juga belajar buat memberi dari tempat yang lebih penuh, jadi bantu orang itu bonus dari kestabilan saya sendiri, bukan gantinya. Dulu, cerita orang lain yang nyangga saya. Sekarang saya mau cukup stabil buat nyangga diri sendiri.